Cyberspace vs the real world is very controversial, who is to say where the line is clearly draw... A person who spends the majority of their time online might argue that it makes up their real world to them. While another person would argue that it is a waste of time to sit in front of the computer playing a game in a world that does not really exist. My focus is more on the relationship formed in these "virtual" worlds. Having had past experience and knowing someone who has been through an online relationship that began in a "virtual" world and moved into the "real" world I have seen first hand how these relationships can pan out.
Being a character online, a person can become anyone that they could ever dream of being. They can have different physical features, they can become a different gender, and even be a character that is not even human. These persona's that the characters take on become a completely different person than the one that is sitting in front of the computer playing the game. They may have been made in their image or started out with their original personality, but they develop and become someone completely different eventually. When a game begins a relationship online they have come to like and enjoy the company of someone who is not actually around, they like a made up character in a game that has made up features and most likely a made up personality. When they meet that person in the "real" world, they are setting themselves up for a completely different person, a computer can hide a lot more about a person than it can tell by an online profile. Meeting these people and forming real functional romantic relationships is not an easy task. No one openly admits to their bad habits or quarks that make them unique online, there is no need to, so how would someone know if the person they are meeting is messy and disorganized or picks their nose, they wouldn't because those kinds of traits are kept a secret because of the anonymity of a computer. Relationships that begin in cyberspace seem to be very far fetched for me to think that they can actually work out. I watched one fail miserably and someone that I care about what deeply hurt and the healing process takes a long time to fix all the damage done by picking up and moving one's life all the way across the country to be with someone that you have never really met before that day that they pick you up at the air port.
I do not believe that these are functional and realistic relationships no matter what information one discloses about them self to another online... It is never the whole truth.
I like how you didn't tear down online relationships completely. I'm sorry that it didn't work out for your friend, but I know a lot of people that it has worked out for.
ReplyDeleteI think that people do often create an alternate personality for themselves in cyber world. But at the same time I believe that a lot of people's true personalities come out. I agree that you won't know all the flaws that a person has, but if you really like them then certain personality flaws won't matter. Some people take the changing of their personality too far, however. It's just a matter of trying to get to know the person better and find out if what they're are saying is really true. People in "real" life can lie about things just as easily.
One thing that struck me was " When a game begins a relationship online they have come to like and enjoy the company of someone who is not actually around". I think in some cases that is so true. I have a friend that absolutely can't stand the idea of having someone around that they constantly have to keep up with and entertain so instead she is constantly finding people on the internet that she could easily disconnect from.
People just need to learn to find boundaries and not let the fear of getting hurt get to them. Then I think they could find someone close by that could be there for them instead of searching the internet for a "perfect match".
I have no experiences with online relationships so its hard to put this into perspective. I really don't understand the whole online relationship thing, but at the same time if it works for them the more power to them I am not judging them I just don't get it. I feel like you have to know someone in person to really know them but that is just me, but if it makes them happy then more power to them.
ReplyDeleteIm going to go with Matt on this one, because although I dont agree with online dating, it might work quite well for others. I really shouldn't judge virtual relationships because I don't know anything about them, or dealt with them first hand like Katie has. I guess if someone really does fall in love with someone online, than like Megan said their flaws shouldn't create any change in heart. I just feel like the flaws and little things that virtual relationships hide are the deciding factors in a good relationship. Its funny how the smallest things can ruin a relationship. Those flaws that each and everyone of us have are what make us our individual selves. That is why I believe that virtual relatonships are somewhat fake, however I'm sure there are many people out there that would disagree.
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